


Choice

by indiefic



Series: Through Dangers Untold and Hardships Unnumbered [3]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abortion, F/M, Gen, Pregnancy, dysfunctional family dynamics, frank discussion of reproductive rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 15:09:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8253514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiefic/pseuds/indiefic
Summary: This story is NOT part of the "official" Through Dangers Untold storyline.  It absolutely does not need to be read as part of that universe.
If you read TDU and you want Steve and Peggy to go on and have more babies together, SKIP THIS ONE
If discussion of pregnancy and abortion isn’t something you want to read, SKIP THIS ONE.





	

**Author's Note:**

> If you read TDU and you want Steve and Peggy to go on and have more babies together, SKIP THIS ONE
> 
> If discussion of pregnancy and abortion isn’t something you want to read, SKIP THIS ONE. 
> 
> If you choose to keep reading, it's on you.

 

 

“What are you doing on Tuesday?” Peggy asks, cradling the phone to her ear.

“You mean other than making you dinner for your birthday?” Sharon replies.

Peggy screws her eyes shut, sitting down on the sofa.  “Shit,” she curses.  “I completely forgot about my birthday.”

Sharon’s tone is serious when she replies.  “Do you need something?”

Peggy is quiet.  She rubs her forehead with her hand.  “I need help,” she says, her voice a bare whisper.

“I’ll be over in a few minutes,” Sharon says, ending the call before Peggy can tell her not to come.”

* * *

 

Peggy answers the door and then turns, retreating into the apartment.  She curls on the end of the couch, wearing a pair of leggings and one of Steve’s shirts.  He’s out of town.  He left yesterday afternoon and he’ll be gone the better part of a week.  At least that’s the plan as far as Peggy knows.

“Steve isn’t going to try and stage a surprise party, is he?” she asks Sharon.

Sharon shakes her head, taking a seat on the couch.  “No,” she says firmly, “not after the way things went on his birthday.”

Peggy nods.  “Good.”

For several long moments, the room is perfectly silent.

“Are you using again?” Sharon asks.

Peggy lets out an unladylike snort.  “If only.”  She leans forward, cradling her head in her hands.

“What’s going on?” Sharon asks, the fear clear in her voice.

Peggy raises her head, aware of the tears on her cheeks.  She turns and looks at Sharon.  “I’m pregnant.”

Sharon sucks in a short breath.  “You had the sterilization procedure months ago.”

“I know,” Peggy says darkly.  “Apparently I’m even more resilient than anyone dared hope.”

Sharon nods, sinking back in the couch cushions.  She crosses her arms over her chest and watches Peggy in silence for a long time.  “You’re not going to have it, are you?”

Peggy shakes her head.  “No, I’m not.”

Sharon nods again.  “And Steve doesn’t know.”

“No,” Peggy says, “he doesn’t know.”

“Margaret - “

“I’m not having it, Sharon,” Peggy snaps.  She narrows her eyes at her daughter.  “I’m not.  And I’m not telling Steve.”

“Fuck,” Sharon says, leaning forward, bracing her elbows on her thighs.  “You realize what kind of position this puts me in.”

“If I had anyone else I could turn to, I would,” Peggy replies.  She takes a deep breath.  “You’re the only person I trust with this.”

Sharon shakes her head.  “Why?”

“Because you, of all people, know what an abysmal mother I make.”

“Oh, don’t you dare,” Sharon says, standing and turning and looking down at Peggy, her arms crossed over her chest.  “Don’t you dare try and lay this on me like I’m the one who declared you unfit to be a parent.  You did that to yourself.”

“I didn’t mean - “ Peggy starts.  She stops and then curses under her breath, wiping impatiently at her eyes.  “I’m not blaming you.  I’m not suggesting that my shortcomings are in any way your fault.  But you know what a fucking disaster I am.  Can you honestly tell me you think I would make a good mother?”

Sharon looks down at her.  “No,” ‘she says flatly.

“Exactly,” Peggy says, slumping back against the couch cushions.

“But I do think Steve deserves to at least know.   _Before_ ,” Sharon says.  “You’re willfully hiding it from him.”

Peggy shakes her head, screwing her eyes shut.  “I can’t tell him,” she says in a harsh whisper.  “I can’t.”

Sharon shakes her head.  “Why?”

“Because he’ll want it!” Peggy yells.  She claps her hand over her mouth and screws her eyes shut.  She shakes her head.  “He’ll want it,” she says again, whispering.  “And I can’t.”  She half laughs, half sobs.  “I can’t deny him that opportunity.  And I can’t have it.”  She looks up at Sharon.  “So where the fuck does that leave me?  This wasn’t supposed to happen.  I was so goddamn careful.”

“Fuck,” Sharon curses, sitting down again.

For a long time, neither of them speak.

“Have you ever - “ Sharon says, “I mean, before you and Steve got back together have you ever terminated a pregnancy?“

“No,” Peggy says.  “I suspect it’s something to do with your father and his fucking superior genetics.  He’s the only one who’s ever managed to - ”  She motions with her hand and then waves it off, sighing.  She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, looking over at Sharon.  “Have you ever?”

Sharon looks over at her.  “Yes.  I have.  Twice.”

“I had no idea,” Peggy says quietly.

“There’s no reason you would have known, Margaret,” Sharon says, frowning.  But as Peggy flinches, Sharon’s expression softens.  

“The first was when I was twenty-two,” Sharon says.  “I just, I couldn’t.  I was too young.  He was too married.  It was really early.”  She takes a deep breath.  “The other was six years ago.  We’d been trying.  There were serious genetic abnormalities.  We did every test we could, but they were conclusive.  ‘Incompatible with life’ is what the reports said.  It was probably for the best.  The relationship didn’t even survive to the end of the year.  It was after that happened that I looked into the coils.”

“I’m sorry,” Peggy says softly.

Sharon shrugs.  “I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t have it.  I’m saying you should tell Steve before you do anything.”

Peggy sighs, reaching over for a tissue and blowing her nose.  “He’ll never forgive me.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Sharon curses.  “He’s forgiven you for every other fucking thing under the sun.  Why would this be any different?  He’s made it pretty goddamn clear that he’ll go along with whatever you want, in any situation.  And especially if he thinks it’s something that would be detrimental to your mental health or your recovery, you know he’s not going to push it.”

Peggy shakes her head, looking away.

“Have it or don’t have it,” Sharon says flatly.  “It’s your prerogative.  But don’t lie to him about it.”

* * *

 

Days later, Steve sets the flowers on the island and wraps his arms around Peggy, pulling her close.  He nuzzles into the hollow beneath her ear.  “Sorry I missed your birthday.”

She returns the hug, but without much enthusiasm, and then turns away, sitting on the couch.

He stands there, watching her, his brows pinched with a frown.  “I swear I’ll make it up - “

“I’m pregnant.”

Steve blinks at her.

“I’m not having it,” she says firmly.  “I have an appointment scheduled the day after tomorrow.  You don’t have to go if you don’t want.  It’ll probably just be a prescription.  But you should know.”

He blinks again and then slowly makes his way to the couch sitting down.  He opens his mouth and starts to say something, but falls silent.  He rubs his forehead.  “But you had the surgery.”

“It didn’t take,” she says.

“Fuck,” he curses, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Indeed,” Peggy says.  She shakes her head and pushes herself to her feet.  “I’m going to bed.”

* * *

 

She hears him unload his bag and then take a shower.  It’s after midnight when he finally comes to bed.  He immediately curls around her.  “I’m sorry,” he says.

“Me too,” she says thickly.

“How are you?” he asks carefully.

“Physically, awful,” she says.  “I’m pretty sure it’s worse than when I was pregnant with Sharon.  Lots of pain on top of the constant nausea.  Some bleeding.”

“Have you seen the doctor yet?”

“Not yet,” she says.  “I was late, I took a test.  I made the appointment.”  She takes a deep breath.  “I was going to do it while you were gone.  And not tell you.”

He’s quiet.

“Sharon read me the riot act for that.  So, I’m telling you.  Now we can both feel like shit about it.”

He sighs.  “I’m glad you told me,” he says quietly.  “I don’t want you to do this alone.  I don’t want you to have to shoulder this alone.”

She rolls over and looks at him in the dim light.  “You’re not upset?”

“Upset?” he asks.  “Sure I’m upset.  I’m upset you have to experience this, especially after the precautions we took.  But I’m not angry.”  He pushes himself up on his elbow, looking down at her.  “Peggy I have a kid.  And I love her.  And I’m not opposed to the idea of more kids.  But you can’t honestly think that I would want you to have a child that you didn’t want.”

She looks away, blinking quickly.  On some level, that’s exactly what she thought.  Though she’d never phrased it like that in her mind.  

He sighs.  “When I initially offered to get myself fixed, it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction because I was afraid of losing you.  I heard what you said, that you didn’t want more kids.  Ever.  And I made my decision.  We’re in this together.”

She blinks up at him, aware of the tear sliding down her cheek and into her hair.

“I love you,” he says quietly.  “Always.”

* * *

 

The doctor’s face is grim as she looks at Peggy and Steve across the desk.  “It’s what I was afraid of,” she says.  “The ultrasound shows that it’s an ectopic pregnancy.  In your right fallopian tube.  It looks like the tube has been significantly damaged.  You need immediate surgery.”

Steve reaches for Peggy’s hand.

* * *

 

“No,” Steve says into the phone.  “We’re good.  She’s pretty doped up right now.”  He pauses and Peggy continues slowly down the hall to the bedroom.  “Yeah, if you want to bring breakfast by tomorrow that would be great.  Okay.  Love you too.”  

He ends the call and sets the phone on the counter before following Peggy into the bedroom.

“Sharon?”

“Yeah, she wanted to make sure you came through the surgery okay.”

“I’ve been better,” Peggy says wryly, gingerly lowering herself into the bed.  As much as she is upset she had to have surgery again, it was a relief.  The pregnancy never would have been viable.  She had absolutely no choice.  

Peggy was committed to her course of action, regardless.  But she hopes this will make it easier for Steve.

Of course, now Steve is in problem solver mode again.  She looks at him as she asks, “Did you really already make an appointment for yourself?”

“Yes, while I was in the waiting room,” he says firmly, using that tone where she knows arguing is pointless.  

She still doesn’t like the idea of him having a vasectomy.  He’s still so young.  And as much as Peggy loves him, she knows that sometimes things just don’t work out.  She doesn’t want him to throw away the chance at a family simply because she’s not willing to have more children.  

But Steve has his mind set.  Peggy knows it’s probably for the best if he does get himself snipped.  She thought her procedure took care of things.  It obviously did not.  Maybe between the both of them, they can manage to avoid having another accident.

She crawls beneath the covers and pulls a pillow over her head.  In spite of the discomfort from the surgery and the anaesthesia, she actually feels somewhat better.  Less like her body is trying to kill her.  But she’s so tired.

She feels the bed depress under Steve’s weight, but she’s already half asleep.

* * *

 

Peggy pulls the bag of peas out of the freezer and tosses them to Steve.  He catches them, frowning and gingerly sets them in his lap.  Bucky takes his eyes off the video game for a moment and arches an eyebrow at Steve.

“I can’t believe you went through with it,” Bucky says.

Steve frowns, but turns his attention back to the video game, ignoring the comment.

Peggy doesn’t say anything, but she’s rather shocked too.  It’s been two weeks since her own surgery and she’s mostly back to normal.  Steve had the procedure done earlier that morning, all outpatient, it took less than half an hour.  As it turns out, technology has advanced to the point where snipping isn’t even necessary.  With a needle, the doctor inserted cement which hardened into a plug.  In theory it could be dissolved in the future if Steve wants a reversal.  

She just hopes his super immune system doesn’t outsmart the technology.  She’d really like to get laid again at some point.

END STORY


End file.
